One of my new library books is A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. I’ve only read the (lengthy) Rules and Suggestions for Enjoyment of This Book, Preface to This Edition, Acknowledgements, and Incomplete Guide to Symbols and Metaphors, but I haven’t been this excited to read a book in a long time. I haven’t read any of the actual book yet, and I think I may be procrastinating because I’m afraid that it won’t live up to my lofty expectations.
But I can really get behind a title like that. To wit:
When I was a college freshman, lo, these many years ago, I had a job as a reader for an English professor. One of my many important duties was to rewind any of the video tapes that he had used in teaching Introduction to Film Literature. One day, I inserted a video tape into the video rewinder, which immediately popped open again. I tried a few more times and finally told the professor that I couldn’t get it to rewind; he said that it was an old tape and maybe he needed to get a new copy. It was not until several hours later that I realized that the tape would not rewind because it was, in fact, already rewound.
I had failed.
I had failed at a job that a marginally intelligent monkey could do.
But wait, Internets! All was not lost! For this experience inspired the title of my friend Eric’s and my book: The #1 New York Times Bestseller of All Time: Can a Monkey Do Your Job? Realizing Your Incompetency Potential.
Now available at fine, imaginary bookstores everywhere.
