eptivity

Happy Day After Valentine’s, Internets! We had a lovely Valentine’s, which included strawberries that came from the grocery store in a little heart-shaped container and watching Garden State. Not the warmest and fuzziest romance we could have watched, but better than our other option, Kill Bill. But this is all beside the points, which are as follows:

1. While I appreciate the sentiment behind people wishing others a  “Happy VD,” my brain can’t get past how, once upon a not-so-long time ago, VD more commonly meant something quite different, e.g.:

World War I U.S. Military poster, stolen from Wikipedia.

2. Our proposal anniversary is February 11, which always makes me think of the secrecy and general awesomeness leading up to the ring that now sits on my finger, which often makes me think of the idiosyncrasies involved in traditional Adventist engagement rituals.

Traditionally, the Adventist party line prohibits wearing jewelry. This is, of course, constantly reinterpreted; the general consensus is that “functional jewelry” is acceptable, but the definition of functional is continually updated. About the time I started caring (circa 1992), this essentially included: watches. Very few people I knew wore wedding rings and many Adventist pastors didn’t even wear tie tacks. One of my friends tested the “functional” waters at our high school by attaching a watch face to a necklace and we spent several Bible class periods discussing the hypocrisy in eschewing necklaces, bracelets, earrings, etc, but shamelessly wearing giant brooches to church.

When I attended Walla Walla College (one of the most liberal of the Adventist colleges), jewelry was technically prohibited, but as far as I know, no one was ever disciplined for wearing it. (Note: By “most liberal,” I  still mean the school that, early in the 21st century, suspended several students for attending a party where there was dancing, after someone sat outside and wrote down license plate numbers to turn in to the dean.)

Apparently, though, the rules are changing on what “functional” means. Cufflinks hold your cuffs together, tie tacks keep your tie in place, and wedding rings announce that you’re married. See! Fuctional!

The whole point is that it was not always this way. When my parents got engaged (i.e., when dinosaurs roamed the earth HI MOM AND DAD!), the engagement and wedding ring thing was Not Done. Thus, when it was time to get engaged, the gentleman in question would buy his intended that most functional piece of jewelry, the watch.

Which the lady in question, upon acceptance, would then wear on her right wrist until the wedding day, at which time it was moved to the left wrist. Presumably, the watch could be moved back to the right wrist if one’s spouse died, as is sometimes the custom with wedding rings. I don’t know what single Adventists did for timekeeping; maybe such a privilege was reserved only for the beloved.

At any rate: Adventism! Tune in next time for “‘Jesus Wept’: Adapting Sport for Sabbath Play through Scripture Recitation.”