eptivity » kittens

Simon Gone Wild

eptivity — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 06:38:59 +0000

Today was an interesting day for Simon, perhaps the most of all time. He has a very small brain.

When I got home from work, Simon curled up on the couch next to me and fell asleep in a 100 percent nonthreatening environment. Ten minutes later, he made a moaning sound, and either woke up and hissed at nothing, or woke himself up by hissing at whatever he was dreaming about.

Then he took a bath:

At some point during the day, this also happened:

I have to say, I’m both impressed and a little concerned. I mean, he’s tried to drown things before, but this took some concerted effort.

Tonight, I sleep with one eye open.

Here Stephan

eptivity — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 05:24:41 +0000

I got you a present.

Realizations

eptivity — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 03:27:03 +0000

My dad learned how to drive at the same age at which I learned how to ride a bike (8 years).

One cannot, by definition, be a good parent if one forgets to feed one’s children just because it is the job of one’s husband who happens to be out of town.

Kittens v. Stephan

eptivity — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 03:43:30 +0000

So we have these two cats who are adorable. The reason we have two is that when one of us is home alone and sad, we have one kitten to wipe away the tears from each eye.

At least that’s supposed to be how it works. I have not had a single tear mopped up by a single paw since Stephan left.

Instead, they have been taking shifts: Simon kneads and purrs on the bed all night. And then we spoon. Spencer curls up with me on the couch during the day. And then we hold paws.

But they are no Stephan.

Cuteness Difecta

eptivity — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 04:10:26 +0000

I have a cat. His name is Simon. He is paws-down the cutest thing on four legs.

He may not be so cute, though, when we have to get him a pair of those upside-down-vision glasses to flip his vision so he can see correctly during the 12 minutes per day that he’s looking at the world upright.

The rest of his day, he spends sprawled out on his back, which Stephan likes to call his “Hey, baby, check out my junk” position. It’s ridiculous; I’ve never seen a cat on its back so much.

And he is a cuddler. He kneads our down comforter for a while, and then paws his way under so he can cuddle. He starts purring like it’s going out of style and then he full-on spoons with one or both of us. Internet, it is more than I can take.

I have but 6 to 11 years before the introduction of our projected child(ren) complete the cuteness trifecta begun by Simon and Stephan, and I am rendered completely useless by my constant squealing and carrying on.

If wishes were horses

eptivity — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 04:52:59 +0000

If I could have one wish granted, I would wish that my head weighed less so that I could use the furry underbellies of our kittens as pillows.

Step up, kittens.

eptivity — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 04:00:38 +0000

The roles in our home are clear and well-defined. Stephan vacuums; takes care of the cats*, car, and finances; and makes blueberry waffles on Saturday mornings. I cook most things, clean most things, and do the laundry.

Kittens, your jobs are very simple:
One: Look cute.
Two: Rush to meet me at the door, when I get home from work, as though a single second more of life outside of my presence is more heartache than your tiny little hearts of cold, cold stone could ever hope to bear.

Kittens, no one came to greet me when I got home today. You remained all curled up together on the couch, where you remained for a good two hours and where, okay, you did manage to look cute, blinking up at me groggily when I dared interrupt your nap.

But then, kittens, you fell asleep again, only this time with your eyes half open. Which is the creepiest thing ever, your creepy little eyeballs rapid-eye moving under your creepy little third eyelids.

So step up, kittens: less being creepy, more eating lettuce. Like normal.

*Not like takes care of.