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Category Archives: other people

Elephants are Kindly, but They’re Dumb

04.29.07 – 21:04

And then to the zoo! With Stephan and Tony! It was a lot more exciting than evidenced by the photos, because I don’t waste my time with pictures through plexiglass or cages anymore, which seriously limited my photographic opportunities. We did see every animal (except for the butterflies), but we skipped the elephant museum (but [...]

By eptivity | Also posted in Stephan | Comments (4)

House Rules

04.17.07 – 20:04

I’m really looking forward to buying a house in three to five years, if only so we can legitimately expand our list of house rules, which so far comprises: We don’t say, “shut up” here; we say, “shut your piehole.” If you’re playing Monopoly and your name is Tony, you must give each other player [...]

By eptivity | Comments (4)

Whatevs, y’all

04.04.07 – 20:04

I have this problem lately where I keep saying “whatevs” because, frankly, it’s hilarious. I have this other problem where whenever I watch America’s Next Top Model with Cenaida and the judges send everyone out of the room so they can deliberate, Cenaida compulsively blurts, “debilerate!” Also hilarious, but the problem is that I just [...]

By eptivity | Comments (2)

A predictable life

03.09.07 – 21:03

Stephan and I plan, beginning six to eleven years from now, on being the best parents ever. We have come to the realization that this endeavor requires taking our children to Disneyland. So we’re making Fake Uncle Tony do it. And as soon as Fake Auntie Cenaida promises that she won’t just use them for [...]

By eptivity | Comments (2)

Almost Perfect

03.07.07 – 22:03

I’m generally a good person. At last count, I only have three vices. First, I compulsively read trashy women’s magazines when I’m sick. This is the fault of my disease-addled brain. Second, I compulsively lick my husband, which he does not appreciate. This is the fault of my husband’s relative intolerance and overwhelming lickability. Third, [...]

By eptivity | Also posted in Stephan | Comments (2)
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