Several years ago, I learned to read. I was 4 at the time, so when I was 5 and it was time to start kindergarten, my reading skillz propelled me straight into first grade.
In second grade, I finished my math workbook a few weeks before the end of the school year, so they gave me [...]
Have I told you that we’re moving to England, Internets? For real, this time. Tickets in hand, even (itineraries, anyway).
I’ve realized yesterday that I’ve never been anywhere older than about 300 years, excepting Chaco Canyon and Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump which I’m not counting because they’re natural features and/or not continuous civilizations.
My good friend Eddie Izzard [...]
I always find it hard to blog after I haven’t for a while, because I feel like it needs to be something earth-shattering to be worthy of such a post. Then I decided that that was ridiculous, and so am returning from early and ill-advised semi-retirement to tell you this:
I love Robert De Niro [...]
This has been making me laugh for the last couple of weeks:
You know how you’re not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition? Debatable, and this is what Winston Churchill had to say about it:
“This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I shall not put.”
ha.
A while back, I heard a commercial for a local community college that went like this:
“Eight hours a day, 5 days a week: I hated my job!”
Can you imagine? That’s 40 solid hours in a single week, Internet. Who lives like this?
In other news, whoever came to our house and unalphabetized the books in cube [...]
One of my coworkers, who is allergic to wheat, is always talking about how we put a man on the moon, yet no one has managed to make a rice-flour bagel.
To which I say: we put a man on the moon, yet no one has figured out how to make all of my Ritz crackers [...]
Like most Americans, I like England. When I was in college, I took a history of England class, during which a future President of the United States (2032) once cheated off my midterm. I am now discovering, however, that my formal English education was incomplete.
For instance, I have no idea what kinds of berries grow [...]
Ever since we got married, lo these many months ago, I’ve been going to the library every 3 weeks on Friday afternoon and then meeting Stephan downtown for dinner. But this weekend, I came to a very grave decision that will free up a good 3 hours of my time per month: no more library. [...]
1. I have not been to Canada in 3 years (truth: 7 months)
2. I am not bringing in any weapons (truth: Stephan’s Leatherman in the glove box)
3. I am not afraid of bears (truth: I made Cenaida sleep by the door of the tent so she would be eaten first)
4. That star right there is [...]
I’m excited for the iPhone. I will probably not ever buy one, but the hype and the waiting in line for days really highlight two of the best things about America.
1. People respect and usually uphold the “first come, first served” rule.
2. There are people out there who are cashing in on “first come, first [...]
